Today marks 1 year since my hysterectomy.
1 Year
12 months
8,760 hours
525,600 minutes
That's a LOT of thinking time to process a decision that has changed my life forever.
A decision I don't regret. I think deep down I knew children wouldn't be in my future. In saying that it doesn't make it any easier. The announcements of a new pregnancy, the vision of pregnant family & friends, the newborn videos & photos, all still rip through me like a serrated knife saws through bread. (I am always SO happy & have SO much love for their new chapter - I just want to make that REALLY clear)
I've struggled again with my weight this past 12 months which has had me beating myself up on top of processing my emotional fall out post the surgery. I just can't seem to find the right balance or what works the best for me. My emotional eating has been out of control which makes it all the worse as I then react more because I feel so shit. I'm trying to work on that & have engaged a psychologist to help, one that specialises in hypnotherapy & the same one that helped me stop smoking 4 years ago.
But on the other hand I ran 5km for the first time in my life after completing the Run With Turia program. Super proud of that achievement. I even inspired others to join along for the next round ((which I ended up limping through). But the program itself is fabulous & the Facebook group so supportive, inspiring and the women are just fantastic. My aim is to complete the 10km program before the end of the year. #notsponsored 😂
Purpose & Legacy has still been a massive part of my thoughts too. Without children what is my life going to contain & what mark do I want to leave on this world? I think it's a far reach to say I'm going to fix world hunger or cure cancer but I want to feel like I've done something to make a difference. This is definitely a work in progress & something I'll continue to research. A good friend said to me "You'll find it. Don't search for it, it'll find you and it'll be amazing!"
For the short term though I know I can't wait to get the hell up & away out of Australia & travelling the world. That's where my savings will be directed and thinking on overseas trip every 2 years is a great place to start. Be it with hubby, or family, or friends. Life is too short and there is SO much I want to see & experience.
Apologies if these recent blog posts are seemingly repetitive in their content but they are reflective of where my life has been at over the recent time. I certainly have more to share & I've a few blog post drafts waiting for further editing & then posting, once I'm comfortable with their content. As a teaser they are my take on life as a step-parent, being the partner of someone with mental ill health and my journey to become a runner.
Until next time, take care, reach out for a chat or share this with someone who needs it xx
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