This was the last time I was going to hear these words from our fertility clinic.
I'm 41 and will never be a Mum.
In 2018 our fertility "journey" (PS for those in the know that word is not what we like to use!) commenced. But my journey to get to that point started in 2013 when I met my now husband. There have been so many different stages to get to this point. Starting with a move across the country at age 35, to being the new girlfriend to a partner where a child was involved, navigating the world of step-parenting, to putting on over 25kg as I settled in to life away from family & friends. This then started a dependency on alcohol, cigarettes and food and what I would look back on now and say, early stages of depression. Buying a house, getting married, getting a dog (first pet ever for me!) then a diagnosis of Stage 4 Endometriosis before embarking on the harrowing and rollercoaster ride that is IVF. However this opened up a positive chain of events to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking and improve my overall wellbeing.
I've had so many connections made by friends or via my social media pages around our IVF challenges, my weight loss and my endometriosis so I wanted a place to write this all down in the event it can provide some insight to those who don't quite understand the full story, or some relatability to those going through the same thing.
Each post I will talk about a point or points in time, as well as reflecting on how that affected me and my life at the time. It will be the warts and all story, there may be references to people or circumstances that others reading this may recognise, but this is my story.
I have a lot of healing to do. I always thought I would be a Mum; I have always been maternal, always loved kids and had a great relationship with kids. Now I need to work through a new purpose for my life and who knows, this could be the start of it.
B xx
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